|This photo has absolutely nothing to do with this post except I took it from my brother- and sister-in-law's deck in Seattle.|
I think I became a Mostly Almost Official Seattle-ite yesterday. I say Mostly Almost Official because, for the life of me, I will never ever ever be able to sort out the difference between a grande and venti coffee. I still have to point to the cup and say "I'll have that one." Trust me, that's a major deal-breaker to becoming a Totally Official Seattle-ite.
I am in Seattle for a few days, helping out the Number 2 Son who had ACL surgery last Thursday. So far, it's been a blur of bags of ice, chopped fruit, Extra Strength Tylenol and schlepping bags of curry hombows for the little guy.
But I digress.
In case you're considering a trip to The Emerald City in the near future, here's a sure-fire formula for becoming an Almost Mostly Official Seattle-ite:
1. Stop by Whole Foods to pick up lettuce, heirloom tomatoes and pesto for your sister-in-law.
2. Enter said store talking to the Wonderfully Patient Spouse (or the equivalent in your life) on your cell phone about the N2S' day.
Side note here: The WPS had the first tour of duty in regards to the great ACL Surgery Adventure and was interchangeably frustrated and concerned at N2S' apparent disinterest in communication (well, and few other things) the first couple days following his procedure. We were debriefing on this issue as I entered the store.
Why do cell phone conversations seem five times louder than regular ones?
ME: No. Seriously. He's doing way better now that he's off THE OXYCONTIN.
(You know, it's a glorious thing to be coasting through the produce section at Whole Foods in Seattle, reaching for romaine and belting out the word "Oxycontin.")
WPS asks several clarifying questions.
ME: No. Really. Each day he's off THE OXYCONTIN, you see little more of the old N2S come around. *
(Cripes. And right in front of the heirloom tomatoes, no less. Score!)
And then the defining moment presents itself.
ME (listening intently to WPS): Hey. Wait. Hold that thought about THE OXY -
-- I turn to Whole Food Produce Guy --
Do you make pesto in-house? - CONTIN.
And, that my friends, is how you become an Almost Mostly Official Seattle-ite.
Cell phone. Whole Foods. Pesto. It's as easy as pie.
And oh, don't forget THE OXYCONTIN.