Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The dawdler -- and a Canine Puzzle-Me-This

You'll have to read the blog to get to the Puzzle-Me-This. Of course, there's always the scroll tab. 

We're in the home stretch.

We've been walking for 40+ minutes. And I managed to discreetly deposit your poop bag in an unsuspecting trash bin along the way. Yesssssss.

The prospect of another cup of joe has me looking at the last quarter-turn with enthusiasm.

Not to mention a much-needed potty break. Yeah, I'm of a Certain Age.

And then. And then. You do it AGAIN. What you do EVERY morning when we hit the corner of 27th and Monroe. You lope up the grassy knoll (no, not THAT one) and proceed to put on a clinic in Dawdling.

You stand and look regal. WhatEVER.

You sit, hind legs all a-kimbo and lick your rocket (otherwise known as your Unmentionable). So undignified.

You give that pesky itchy spot underneath your collar a vigorous scratch. Ahhh.

You take a longing, lingering look across the street toward The H's house, your Surrogate Family when we travel. Then fix me with a Royal Stink-eye.

THEY always give me two treats in the morning, you seem to say.

I give you an encouraging "Come on, Ben! Let's go get some breakfast."

Nonchalantly, you look up and away, as if savoring some distant, delightful scent. Instead, I know for a fact you're saying, "La. La. La. I can't heearrrr you."

FINALLY, you slowly turn your head toward, eyes half-closed. Oh, was that you? Did you say something?

It's then that you get up, stretch and give a vigorous shake. One last questioning look back at the way we just came and you seem to grin as you run up to me.

What are we waiting for? I'm starving! Let's go home!

Dear Dawdling Dog.

And now for the Canine Puzzle-Me-This:
The facts, ma'am, just the facts.

Ben closed himself in the bathroom AGAIN yesterday. This time upstairs. He is obviously an advocate of bathroom nondiscrimination.

No signs of a struggle, ie, no scratch marks on the door. Although this time and last, he did get into the trash and shredded a few tissues. Complicating factor: I found a couple traces of tissue by my computer desk, which means the shredding occurred prior to lock-down.

When freed, Ben is absolutely delighted with himself. No signs of fear, recrimination or resentment. More like "Did you see what I just did?" Yeah, I did. And it's weird.

In looking over my blogs, the last three bathroom adventures occurred on Tuesdays, starting in mid-November. Can't speak to the episodes last March. Is it some new-found element of separation anxiety since Tuesday is the one day when the Wonderfully Patient Spouse and I are both gone all day? If yes, why now after years of long Tuesdays?

It appears to be somewhat purposeful. Gawd knows why, though.

So, my dlogger (ie, people who blog about dogs) friends, puzzle me this: Anybody else have a dog who locks himself in the bathroom? Is Ben suffering from a Kleenex deficiency in his diet? Is this a somewhat eccentric interpretation of canine Me Time? 

Inquiring minds need to know.


  1. "licking your rocket"

    No words. :)

    He's smart and clearly knows something about that room that you don't. Perhaps you should just go ahead and put his bed/toys in there on Tuesdays. :)

  2. We just found your blog and became your newest follower. Separation anxiety comes to mind, but it sure is a weird form!

  3. I'm no dog expert but I believe anxieties can crop up at any age. Perhaps Ben's older and feels more anxious/vulnerable about being home alone. Did something trigger him off? Maybe he's finding some trace minerals he likes in tissue paper! As for locking himself in - I'm still agog at how he manages that. I suppose a quick fix would be to close the bathroom doors before you leave the house. What he'll get up to then is anybody's guess :)

    Georgia is very slow on the home stretch too. Like pulling teeth, slower than Rufus was.

  4. Bathroom lock-ins. That's a new one! Twiggy, the resident Greyhound of the house, does the tissue thing ALL the time. Even though we try really hard to keep doors closed and garbage cans out of reach. It's like she has a radar for when one is accessible. Maybe you need a doggie-cam to check out the happenings on Tuesdays! :)

  5. Fred also has to have his daily kleenex fix. If not available he will settle for toilet paper. He does not lock himself in any rooms though. Sounds like Ben is a closet kleenex guy!