Travel is so edifying

I picked up a few science tips while pinging around Portland and the Oregon Coast last week:

1. The First Rule of Recliner Physics: If a recliner has an ocean view to the west and a large flat screen TV with college football going to the east, it will be occupied.

Corollary: Recliners manned by toddlers and preschoolers defy gravity.

2. BENedetti's Law of Wind: For every action, there is a reaction, usually involving the ears.

3. The Tent City Theory: Where there are small children, there will be tent cities.

4. The Sparkler Phenomenon: When armed with a sparkler, you will be endowed with the powers of a Jedi knight.

5. The Baby Doll Paradox: In restaurants, as with most places, two heads are always better than one when dividing up the check.

6. And finally, BENedetti's Law of Sofas: Where there is sofa void, there shall be a proportionate amount of dog.