Baby steps

I am sure you’ve been laying awake at night wondering about my progress with my nemesis -- the strategy-brain-draining Words with Friends.

All I can say is Baby Steps, Baby Steps.

I am winning a few more games!

I'm only getting beat by 100-150 points. Down from 300!

And I still mix up random letters to see if they make up words. And sometimes they do!

Yessssssssssssss.

But the biggest advancement I've made is coming to understand more of the zen of Words with Friends.

1. Words with Friends karma is real. Be afraid. . . be very afraid: Have a kick-ass round, end up winning and feel like a WWF Rock Star? I guarantee you will be relegated to all vowels -- turn after interminable turn -- in the next game.

Three I's? You're killin' me, Alice. You're killin' me.

Complain about it? Boom. More WWF karma -- all consonants.

2. Free yourself: Especially of the letters C, J, K and Z. Immediately. They are a major disturbance in the force.

3. Find enlightenment: One word -- caffeine. My WWF prowess one-ness is directly proportional to my blood caffeine level. Papers have been written about this.

4. Learn from the master: Zen has it right -- imitation is the greatest form of flattery. If one of my fellow Recovering Soccer Mom opponents, says "ANKH" is a word, well, damn straight I'm going to use it too.

(For you nitpickers purists out there, here's the definition. Who knew?)

And finally:

4. Wordtastic! Enlightenment is infinite: Thanks to the Rematch button. This largely explains why I currently have eight games alone going with my best friend from college.

So there you have it. We're holding steady on the WWF home front, and feeling one with the universe, to boot.

Unless it involves 7 vowels. Then we've got trouble.

 I don't swap tiles. Really.