I am here to announce a Very Important Medical Discovery: Virus10.0 -- otherwise known as "The Sledgehammer." This year's delightfully efficient viral iteration appears to pack 10-14 days of misery into an convenient, albeit uncomfortable 72-hour time period. Here's how it goes:
Slink home following work and descend into a stunned miasma of fatigue. The ridiculous DWTS vision of Bristol Palin, dressed in a sequined, ballroom dancing version of a grey schoolmarm suit, barely registers. You curse life and wonder what you have done to deserve such cruel and unusual punishment that leaves you powerless to mock a member of the Palin family.