Why do you torment me so and put up CHRISTMAS decorations in MID-NOVEMBER? Is it too much to ask that we digest our Thanksgiving dinners and take at least one tryptophan-induced nap first?
What's the rush? Are you going on safari and won't be back till the 24th? Or are you one of those pie-eyed holiday romantics with a drawer full of theme sweaters replete with sequins and appliqued snowmen who starts intoning "I just love Christmas" as soon as the last firecracker goes off July 4th?
Don't get me wrong. I get as warm and fuzzy about Christmas as the next person. Heck, I even take artsy photos of my Christmas ornaments. But usually, say, in December? like when the holiday actually occurs? Yeah, I know, call me crazy but that's just the way I roll.
Oh, neighbor-whose-house-looks-like-something-out-of-a-Jingle-Bell-Rock-Theme-Park, please cease and desist with the dispensing of visual holiday cheer in early November. There are bigger, more urgent issues to address -- to brine, smoke or deep fry the Thanksgiving turkey, for example. For god sakes, people, I beg you, let's get our priorities straight here!
So put down that silk poinsettia, box up those twinkle lights and resist the urge to erect Inflatable Santa on the front lawn for a couple more weeks. I thank you. . . your neighbors thank you. . . holiday decoration retailers, maybe not so much.
Thank you. I feel better now.
Sunday, Nov. 14: Hmmmmmmm. Do you think Doug read my blog?
Ryan won't let us play even one little Christmas song until the day AFTER Thanksgiving. I call that grinchy!
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