Nooo-oooooo-oooooooo!

This is the image that greeted me at the top of the 5th floor elevator at Macy's a couple weeks ago.

I'm still recovering.

Christmas. And, what's worse, a sock monkey Christmas. Arrrgghhh. This is more than one can bear.

My date and I were on an innocent mission -- to sate our now tragic addiction to Keurig's Emeril's and Kono coffee replenish our K-cup supply when we encountered A Sock Monkey Christmas.

Shouting font: BEFORE. COLUMBUS. DAY!

People, people, people. You do NOT need to buy Christmas decorations now. (News flash: They're all 50 percent off the day after Christmas anyway -- even that itty-bitty weetle pwecious sock monkey you thought would be flying off the shelf. Trust me -- he'll be there, along with 1,000 more of his heinous little sock monkey friends because that's the way retail works.)

If you want to start a little Christmas shopping now, knock yourself off. I've actually got a little list going myself.

If you want to start peeking at holiday magazines, join the club. Look what's in my wallet

 (A shout-out to the Number Two Son who just started his first full-time job as a web developer. Yay, N2S!)

But walk away from The Light. It's too early for Christmas decorations. To buy them, display them, to even contemplate them. Especially sock monkeys. I give you permission December 1. (Excluding Christmas sock monkeys. There is a ban on Christmas sock monkeys.)

You'll thank me later. Especially about the sock monkeys.

All the best,

xxoooxxoo

The Queen and Supreme Goddess of Bermtopia