Monday, November 12, 2012

Bermtopia-by-the-Sea 2.0: The Thanksgiving Edition


Most of the time, the time-space continuum and I generally leave each alone. I basically ignore him, and he's obviously so busy keeping order in the universe that I matter very little. But occasionally, the time-space continuum likes to swing around and slap me upside the head. Like Saturday, when I realized,  "Holy crap, I've got to get organized!"

Because Saturday the time-space continuum was kind enough to remind me of this: We leave for Portland, the Oregon Coast and Thanksgiving in a week. 

Does this have a familiar sound?

Yes, another beach holiday. But with a twist. We're sharing it with the Seattle Poopheads -- my date's sister and her date -- and their (grown) kids! We have houses right across the street from each other.

Seems The Numbers and The Cousins cooked up this plan over karaoke one night. (Surely a few barley pops were involved as well.) And here we are.

There will goofiness and gaiety, hijinks and hilarity, small children and wet dogs, walks on the beach and books by the fire. We could be buffeted by wind and rain, or beach comb in shirtsleeves under the sun (did both last Christmas). We will cook for vegetarians, vegans and Hoovers (Like the vacuum, Hoovers consume all in their path. If you haven't already figured this out, I am a Hoover.). We will be mindful of nut allergies and pretend calories don't exist.

Above all, good food and good company will be the constants in each of our days on the coast.  

But before our coastal adventures begin, I think I should introduce you to the cast of characters. And what characters they are.

At our house, The Retreat, meet:

Really. They could be twin brothers, I swear to god.
My date, of course

My mom, The Mom Unit, also doing business as Gram Ellie. The only difference between Martha and The Mom Unit is that my mom has never worn prison orange.

The Number One Son and his lovely wife The Miz. He's the knucklehead on left, below.

The Number 1 and 2 Knuckleheads Sons.
But, someone will be missed this year -- The Number Two Son is off conquering Corporate America in his new job (health insurance!)  as a web developer (health insurance!) in Seattle. As such, he's low man on the totem pole (health insurance!) and couldn't get the time off (health insurance!). Monopoly games just won't be the same without him

Across the street, at The Big House, there's

The resemblance is amazing
The Good Doctor and Milady Poophead

The CeeKavs -- Ms. CeeKav is my niece and one of The Cousins (and you might know Mr. CeeKav from over at Pants on a Raccoon), plus their two kids M and Q, also known as The Critters, pictured here.

Pretty adorable, eh?


My other niece, Ms. LMP, and her date, The Rahlinator. They round out The Cousins. Do you think we should give the Divine Ms. L a heads-up that most of us left our Polaroid cameras on the Ark?

And two of our most important guests -- Ben and Sasha! (Sasha is a CeeKav, btw. Did you see the resemblance?).

So there you have it: Bermtopia-by-the-Sea 2.0: Thanksgiving Edition. We'll be sure to write. 

But would you excuse me now? I need to go make a list. My 23rd of the day.


  1. Looks like it will be a woderful reunion. I am especially interested in the agency that provided George, can you give me their number?

  2. Any reunion that has enough food cooked by Martha is alright by me. I don't think you'll be short of entertainment with that cast. Do the Poopheads know you call them that, BTW?

    Have a fun break! Please give Mr Ben my best. Perhaps a Valium before the dreaded road trip? X

    1. Of course the Poopheads know -- long story short, when we were taking the elevator up to look at their new condo, they hit the button that read "PH" (as in penthouse) but my date chirpily asked, "What does stand for? Poopheads?" And the name has, pardon my french, stuck ever since.