Bermtopia-by-the-Sea: The Thanksgiving Edition

Searching for a Twinkie for the End of the World

We are here. But not without a few adventures along the way:

Fresh organic Thanksgiving turkey not ordered and the deadline long gone? No problemo. Groveling works!

Forgot Ben's "special" canned dog food? Don't worry. Let your fingers do the walking through the yellow pages.

Asked twice if we were new residents at The Mom Unit's retirement community. Arrggghhh. Maybe I will start coloring my hair again.

Brought the cappuccino maker but forgot the milk froth-er? That's it. Game over. We're going home.

Not really. As you can see, we managed to make it to Bermtopia-by-the-Sea relatively unscathed on Tuesday, dodging what was the Oregon coast's first major storm of the season. Six inches of rain recorded in a little town just down the road from us, but The Retreat rode it out just fine and here we are.

The Poopheads, The N1S and The Miz pulled in about five minutes apart a couple hours later, and we've been going non-stop ever since.

This is the Poopheads' joint. We can watch Their Every Move.

But first, I must share the mission my date and undertook as we hurled ourselves across Eastern Washington Tuesday. We decided we would attempt to find the last Hostess Twinkie in the world. Surely, some forgotten backwater gas station or mini-mart dotting the scablands surrounding Bermtopia would still be stocking Twinkies. Surely.

We, of course, missed the memo that there had been a run on Hostess products and Twinkies were now selling for a bazillion dollars on eBay. We're a little slow on the uptake that way.

Nevertheless, my date and I like a challenge and thus set off searching for the last Twinkie in the world.

Thirty-seven gas stations and mini-marts later -- major fail. But we do have an awesome collection of Hostess cupcakes, Ding Dongs, Ho's Ho's and Zingers. So there.

We met some nice people.

"Twinkies are junk food, people! Junk foo-ooo-ood!"
Direct quote.

And visited some interesting places.

Bad idea.

And saw some interesting things.

Yeah, I know. Just another reason why Bermtopia is
Near Nature. Near Perfect.

And managed to turn an 6-hour trip into 8. Ben was none too pleased with us.

And now we here: Bermtopia-by-the-Sea. The place, the world, I have loved most since I was a kid.

There will be future reports of clambakes, poker games, tent cities, somersaults and how much smoked salmon a party of five can consume in 4 days (Hint: We are on a record pace.), but right now let's just say we are happy and thankful for great families, good health and much abundance in our lives.

There is so much to celebrate.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from Bermtopia-by-the-Sea!

Bermtopia-by-the-Sea 2.0: The Thanksgiving Edition

Prologue

Most of the time, the time-space continuum and I generally leave each alone. I basically ignore him, and he's obviously so busy keeping order in the universe that I matter very little. But occasionally, the time-space continuum likes to swing around and slap me upside the head. Like Saturday, when I realized,  "Holy crap, I've got to get organized!"

Because Saturday the time-space continuum was kind enough to remind me of this: We leave for Portland, the Oregon Coast and Thanksgiving in a week. 





Does this have a familiar sound?

Yes, another beach holiday. But with a twist. We're sharing it with the Seattle Poopheads -- my date's sister and her date -- and their (grown) kids! We have houses right across the street from each other.

Seems The Numbers and The Cousins cooked up this plan over karaoke one night. (Surely a few barley pops were involved as well.) And here we are.

There will goofiness and gaiety, hijinks and hilarity, small children and wet dogs, walks on the beach and books by the fire. We could be buffeted by wind and rain, or beach comb in shirtsleeves under the sun (did both last Christmas). We will cook for vegetarians, vegans and Hoovers (Like the vacuum, Hoovers consume all in their path. If you haven't already figured this out, I am a Hoover.). We will be mindful of nut allergies and pretend calories don't exist.

Above all, good food and good company will be the constants in each of our days on the coast.  

But before our coastal adventures begin, I think I should introduce you to the cast of characters. And what characters they are.

At our house, The Retreat, meet:

Really. They could be twin brothers, I swear to god.

My date, of course

My mom, The Mom Unit, also doing business as Gram Ellie. The only difference between Martha and The Mom Unit is that my mom has never worn prison orange.












The Number One Son and his lovely wife The Miz. He's the knucklehead on left, below.

 

The Number 1 and 2 Knuckleheads Sons.

But, someone will be missed this year -- The Number Two Son is off conquering Corporate America in his new job (health insurance!)  as a web developer (health insurance!) in Seattle. As such, he's low man on the totem pole (health insurance!) and couldn't get the time off (health insurance!). Monopoly games just won't be the same without him. 








Across the street, at The Big House, there's

The resemblance is amazing

The Good Doctor and Milady Poophead
















The CeeKavs -- Ms. CeeKav is my niece and one of The Cousins (and you might know Mr. CeeKav from over at Pants on a Raccoon), plus their two kids M and Q, also known as The Critters, pictured here.

Pretty adorable, eh?

and

My other niece, Ms. LMP, and her date, The Rahlinator. They round out The Cousins. Do you think we should give the Divine Ms. L a heads-up that most of us left our Polaroid cameras on the Ark?

And two of our most important guests -- Ben and Sasha! (Sasha is a CeeKav, btw. Did you see the resemblance?).

So there you have it: Bermtopia-by-the-Sea 2.0: Thanksgiving Edition. We'll be sure to write. 

But would you excuse me now? I need to go make a list. My 23rd of the day.