Thursday, August 1, 2013

Boss lady

One of my most  important neighborhood jobs of the entire year -- along with vetting every single new real estate listing -- is the sidewalk supervision of all summer home renovation, rehabilitation and remodeling projects in my neighborhood.

No job is too big or too small. Pouring concrete? Adding an addition? Re-landscaping? New construction? No problem. I am so totally on it.

My work currently is limited to exterior projects.

Sadly, Integrity Remodeling, KellCraft signs -- nor City of Bermtopia building permits posted in living room windows -- have not proven to be my carte blanche into the homeowners' castle  for an early-morning look-see. Truly an oversight on their part. They'd be lucky to have me -- and my ideas about countertops, flooring and domestic traffic flow.

So instead, I must share my vast knowledge of home improvement from the sidewalk.

There are some dandy neighborhood projects going on this year in the 'hood. Here's a sampling of what I'm working on:

Possibly the world's biggest house on the world's smallest lot.
Ben: Major design flaw. No backyard for the family dog.
When will people get their priorities straight?
"Client" appears to have a love affair with concrete.
Worried about the direction of this project.
Love, love LOVE total gut jobs.
Ben: This makes me tired. I think I'll go eat some grass.
Client cleverly rebuilt garage so she can enter from alley
instead of an extremely lonn-nnnng, narrr-rrrow driveway.
Ben: You can gushed all you want about the cutesy leaded windows
and French doors into the garden, but I think we are about
to be invaded by flesh-eating squirrel zombies.

Phew. I'm exhausted just thinking about all the work I have yet to complete before the stoo-pid snow flies. Maybe I'm getting too old for the job.

How about you? Are you a Sidewalk Supervisor? Do we need to unionize? 
Form a national association? Hire a lobbyist?
Ben: None of the above
. You need to get off the damn computer and give me a treat.


  1. OK, I admit it, I am a sidewalk supervisor. I also inspect landscaping projects, newly acquired barking dogs in the yards, and I am known to collect blown about trash from over-flowing trash cans. And when a "For Sale" sign appears, I am quick to consult Zillow to get the inside details!

  2. We love to check out the new neighborhood projects too. If it's not the humongous house built on tiny lots, it's 'skinny' houses crammed onto 30' wide lots. Fortunately, the house next door is just being remodeled. :)