Showing posts with label I love gut jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I love gut jobs. Show all posts

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Boss lady


One of my most  important neighborhood jobs of the entire year -- along with vetting every single new real estate listing -- is the sidewalk supervision of all summer home renovation, rehabilitation and remodeling projects in my neighborhood.

No job is too big or too small. Pouring concrete? Adding an addition? Re-landscaping? New construction? No problem. I am so totally on it.

My work currently is limited to exterior projects.

Sadly, Integrity Remodeling, KellCraft signs -- nor City of Bermtopia building permits posted in living room windows -- have not proven to be my carte blanche into the homeowners' castle  for an early-morning look-see. Truly an oversight on their part. They'd be lucky to have me -- and my ideas about countertops, flooring and domestic traffic flow.

So instead, I must share my vast knowledge of home improvement from the sidewalk.

There are some dandy neighborhood projects going on this year in the 'hood. Here's a sampling of what I'm working on:

Possibly the world's biggest house on the world's smallest lot.
Ben: Major design flaw. No backyard for the family dog.
When will people get their priorities straight?
"Client" appears to have a love affair with concrete.
Worried about the direction of this project.
Love, love LOVE total gut jobs.
Ben: This makes me tired. I think I'll go eat some grass.
Client cleverly rebuilt garage so she can enter from alley
instead of an extremely lonn-nnnng, narrr-rrrow driveway.
Ben: You can gushed all you want about the cutesy leaded windows
and French doors into the garden, but I think we are about
to be invaded by flesh-eating squirrel zombies.

Phew. I'm exhausted just thinking about all the work I have yet to complete before the stoo-pid snow flies. Maybe I'm getting too old for the job.

How about you? Are you a Sidewalk Supervisor? Do we need to unionize? 
Form a national association? Hire a lobbyist?
Ben: None of the above
. You need to get off the damn computer and give me a treat.