Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Ear condoms

If you've followed this blog for awhile, you know I have a most impressive collection of winter outwear for my morning excursions with Ben. I begin wearing the ensemble in November,  reluctantly peeling the layers off sometime in July.

Fat Bastard. The Puffy Pants. Yak Trax. You name it, and you'll find it my No Snow Zone box of winter apparel. Each article of clothing has one purpose and one purpose only -- to keep me warm, upright and as far away from the white stuff as possible.

Before ear condoms, we were cold and ugly. Now EVERYTHING is warm and beautiful!
 Last week, another weapon joined my Anti-Arctic arsenal -- ear condoms. That's right, you read it here first. Ear condoms.

Well, okay. Sheeesh. The real product name is EarBags. Picky, picky. Ear condoms has a much more marketable ring to it.

My friend and co-worker sporter, who you can also find over at Slow Read to a Sunburn, turned me on to these little guys awhile back and actually presented me with my own pair last week. Merry Christmas!

They come in a nifty little red bag, though I'm told if you lose the bag, the ear condoms will run away and never be seen again. Let's have none of that, shall we?

The condom actually puffs out a little so you can hook it over the top of your ear. Once done, just snap it closed against your head. Warm toasty ears, and no unsightly hat hair! (Though you do resemble a hobbit with gangrenous ears.)

I'll take the gangrenous ears. I hate hat hair.

Ear condoms, you are my solstice salvation!

And just how, on god's green earth, did I miss the cable knit version?


  1. Everyone needs at least 2 pairs of these. Go treat yourself to some cables. Doesn't one of those goose hunting caps have warm flaps too?

    1. Goose hunting caps = hat hair.